Golden brown eyes shoot wide open, only to shut tight again. The blinding white light of the iridescent bulbs are a surprise.
Where am I?
Trying to sit up, he meets resistance. Squinting open his eyes he notices a brown leather strap across his chest, pinning his arms down.
What is going on? Why am I strapped down?
Turning his head to the side, he realizes he's in a sterile laboratory. Operating tools sit on a small push cart along with a vitals monitor hooked up to his arm. Trying to move his legs, he realizes that they are strapped down too.
Realizing he's stuck, he tries to figure out his surroundings. The only noise is a hum from what's probably an air filter. There are no voices. No footsteps. Nothing. Twisting his head to the side, he sees a video camera blinking a red light.
Someone is watching, someone knows what is happening.
"Hey! Whoever is watching, tell me what's happening! Where am I? What's going on? What is all of this?"
The red light blinking is the only answer he gets.
Trying to shift his body around in the straps, he's completely stuck. No wiggle room and the table he's on is welded to the ground.
Yelling in frustration, he curses at the camera.
"Now, now. Subject 5-A-Z-7-8. Calm down." A female robotic voice fills the room, it makes him jump. There's no speakers visible, but it continues "You are probably upset and confused. But we need you to remain calm. Dr. Wilken will be with you shortly. He is dealing with another patient right now."
"What is happening? I want answers now!"
"Subject 5-A-Z-7-8, I have told you once to calm down. Your heart rate is escalating, if you do not restrain yourself and return your heart rate to normal, I will have to sedate you."
"Tell me! Who are you people? What do you want of me?"
The vitals monitor next to him hums to life and a liquid flow through one of the tubes connected to his arm.
His eye sight instantly seems to go into tunnel vision before completely blacking out.
Slowly opening his eyes he sees a man with a surgical mask looking straight into his eyes.
"Hello Saverio, it's a pleasure to see you again."
Gasping for air, Saverio let's out a, "No...It can't be." As the man with the surgical mask places a breathing tube to Saverio's nose. Feeling the anesthesia take affect, Saverio starts to black out again.
To be continued...
Well, I had a different blog I was working on this afternoon, but I was interrupted while writing it and kind of lost my motivation when I came back to it. So, I saved it and will post it another time, plus it felt a little forced writing it, and I'd rather for the writings to come a little smoother than what it was.
This weekend I was on duty at the dorm and couldn't go to church this morning, which bummed me out. I'm not going to lie and say that sleeping in wasn't great, but it would have been much more fulfilling to go to church and be around my community of believers that help make up the bride of Christ. I think it's hugely important to be around those that help build you up and encourage you and really push you in continuing to grow.
I've been really blessed with the community of believers here on campus. Our CSF group is awesome. I love getting to see my fellow college students serve each other whether through helping lead worship, or leading small groups or those that come to set up and tear down the room that we're in. I listened to a sermon today while working on my pottery by Francis Chan entitled "Grace and Love" and his passage for that sermon was Galatians 5:1-15, and the verses that I really love are 13&14 which say, "You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
There is something truly incredible about loving others through serving. It's something that is not really pushed in our culture. We look at greatness as: how much you have or how you seem better than the other guy. But serving others, actually loving others, is selfless. True love for someone is selfless. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus knew this when he came to earth, it was why he came to earth. To show us that unconditional, agape, love and set us free of the bondage of sin.
I am a selfish person, I don't always like admitting it but I am. It's something that I struggle with a lot actually. The later part of Romans 7 really does a better job of explaining that struggle than I ever could. Recently though, my selfishness has been revealed to me in a new way. Being in an amazingly Christ-centered relationship with a very godly woman, has been incredible in more ways than I could describe. But, one of the ways that I know Christ is in this relationship is in the way He reveals sin in my life and uses Emily to help shed some of that light in my life. And I know that she is showing Christ's love in helping me grow more like Jesus, instead of allowing me to remain in my sinful and stubborn ways. I remember hearing a sermon about how sometimes our punishment for our sin is that we remain in that sin. Too many times I think about being punished for sin as getting caught and having consequences that go along with that, but really it's good to get caught and be disciplined. Proverbs 13:24 is usually quoted as "spare the rod, spoil the child" but it actually goes a little more like "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." It's a tough thing to think about, being disciplined for doing something wrong, our culture loves slackness, letting people off the hook or letting it slide this one time. But really, that doesn't make an impact, it doesn't change how people think.
Our goal as Christ followers is to pursue a life of righteousness and part of that is learning from our sins, not going back to those sins or "returning to vomit like a dog." As much as it hurts sometimes of having certain sins revealed or to be brought out into the open, it's really one of the greatest things as believers that can happen. To have that darkness of sin be exposed to the light means that it can't hide, it has no place to go except away, and to have those who love and truly care for you know what your struggles are, and help keep you accountable is amazing, because as sin leaves our life, we begin to look more like our savior, a perfect human and the son of God. While the rest of my life will be of God transforming my life to look more and more like his son's, I'm enjoying what He is doing now, using those around me who care and love me enough to help bring me to my knees and shed that light on the sin in my life that needs to be exposed.
*I will go ahead and apologize if my theology is not completely correct in what I've just written, I do want to have correct theology and not be a false teacher by preaching incorrect truths, but I did want to share some thoughts that have been on my heart.
I've decided to switch up my blog style, if I have cool dreams I'll post them on here, but I've decided to start sharing some of my thoughts. A normal blog I guess is what it'll be, but at the same time unique, cause I'm writing it, and let's be honest, I am a very unique individual...
I was working out this evening at the gym, and besides popping my blood blister, I had a great time listening to a podcast by Francis Chan entitled "Living for that Moment" it's the first part of a 2 part sermon. In it Chan preaches on living for the moment that Jesus comes back. We really have no idea when it will happen, but he spoke on how most of believers don't actually live like Jesus is gonna come back. And I'll be the first to admit that I usually don't think about that, I mean in my head I know that Jesus will come back someday, but I picture myself growing old and dying and then going to heaven. It could be just me, but I think that's how many of us live.
Francis brought up a really heart convicting idea to think about. He said think about the 10 worst things or sins you've been in this past year or done, and think about how it would be if Jesus came back at that moment. I actually paused my iPod to think about that for a few minutes, it was heart wrenching to think about. I don't think this is the place to mention what those "top 10 worst sins" would be for me, but I will say that I abhor the thought of Jesus returning while sinning.
Francis talked a lot more about Jesus' second coming and that it will happen, but that there will be mockers and those who bring you down and call you a fool for believing that Jesus will come back, but there is hope, because Jesus said he would come back, and everything he has said has come to pass and I believe just because he left this earth, he won't stop fulfilling everything he has promised.
I'm very thankful for the opportunity to listen to these podcasts while I work out, it's a great time to get some deep thinking in, in such a busy and hectic life. I used to do a lot when I worked at the golf course in Fairbanks right before going to Africa, and Francis Chan was one of my favorite pastors back then and helped encourage me when in Africa.
